


A Bigger Man Than That

by Topaz_Eyes



Category: Lie to Me (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Episode Related, Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-27
Updated: 2010-08-27
Packaged: 2017-10-11 06:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/109530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topaz_Eyes/pseuds/Topaz_Eyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The package had arrived while Cal was still at the hospital.  Post-ep tag for "Exposed."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bigger Man Than That

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "Exposed."

  
The package had arrived while Cal was still at the hospital.

Cal had taken his time driving back to the office, first following Gillian home to make sure she got there safely, so by the time he returned almost everyone else had left. Walking down the half-lit hall, he spied Heidi, her coat on, heading into Gillian's empty office, with the plain-wrapped box tucked under her arm.

"Oi! Heidi! What's that?"

At the door, she stopped and turned. "Package arrived for Dr. Foster."

"Yeah? You can give that to me, all right?"

"But it's for Dr. Foster--"

"Don't care. Hand it over, now, love." He beckoned with an impatient hand.

She hesitated, but Cal continued to glare at her, so she handed it over, her eyes worried.

He turned the package over in his hands, inspecting it. Brown wrapping, about five pounds, didn't rattle when he shook it. "No address. Did you see who left it?"

Heidi shook her head. "Ted from downstairs brought it up about ten minutes ago."

Check the surveillance tapes, Cal thought. Aloud he said, "When Foster's not here, all packages for her come straight to me. That clear?"

Heidi nodded. "Is there anything else, Dr. Lightman?"

"Nope. You can go. Good night."

"Good night." Dismissed, Heidi hurried off, the clack of her heels echoing down the hall.

Cal returned to his office with Foster's package. He sat it on his desk and stood slouched, hands in his pockets, contemplating it for a minute. He didn't recognize the scrawl, but he had a suspicion who'd sent it. He hoped he was wrong. He rounded the desk and punched keys on his laptop, then sat back in his chair, chin propped in his hand, to watch the security replay of the lobby for the last twenty minutes.

And there it was, seven minutes in; a tall, gray-haired man in a dark suit. Cal sat up, froze the image, and peered at the man's face as he stood at the reception desk. He recognized the DEA agent who'd accompanied Dave Burns out of the hospital.

Bloody hell.

"You shouldn't have sent this, you plonker," Cal said. Burns' cover was blown; the DEA had to get him out quickly. To pull the package together meant he'd gone back to his apartment and risked himself further. He'd never liked the man, but he didn't wish him dead, either. For Gillian's sake, anyway.

He lifted the box off the desk, setting the package on his lap, and leaned back in the chair. His fingers traced over the clear packing tape. He itched to open it, find out what was inside. Foster's belongings that she'd left in Burns' apartment? Slinky lingerie? Books? Photos?

A goodbye letter?

He waffled back and forth. Whatever was in there, was hers. The weight in his lap suggested not much, but enough that Burns was willing to risk it. That had to count for something.

Then again, he was honor-bound to protect Foster, spare her as much pain as possible. Hell, the package alone--Gillian was suffering enough already. She didn't need more reminders of the tosser who'd lied to her, broke her heart and almost got her killed.

He should open it.

He set the box back on his desk, opened his desk drawer and rummaged for a letter-opener. He'd order Ted and Heidi not to mention the package at all; he'd take it home and hide it in his safe. No, he'd toss it in the nearest bin. Either way, she'd be none the wiser. Let Gillian think Dave Burns disappeared without a final message to her.

Yeah, it was harsh, Gillian's last moment with Burns. Watching him walk away without looking back. Knowing she could never follow. But Cal knew severing ties was easier in the long run. A clean break, that was what she needed.

He pressed the tip of the blade into the tape--

Cal stopped just before the tip sliced through.

No. He couldn't do this. Not to her.

He could justify protecting Gillian all he wanted, but he had no right to deny her closure. After all she'd been through today, he at least owed her that. He tossed the opener on his desk, then stood, picked up the package and strode out of the office before he could tempt himself further.

Fifteen minutes later, Cal shuffled back and forth on her doorstep in the falling shadows of early evening. Gillian was home: a light burned behind the heavy drape of her living room window. His fist raised to knock, he hesitated. Would she even want to look at him right now? He could just leave the package at the door, press the doorbell and walk away. Pretend he didn't know anything tomorrow when he saw her. Maybe that would be better.

No, she deserved the truth. Heidi or Ted would tell her about the package, and then she'd know how much of an arse he really was about this. Not that she didn't know before, but he was a bigger man than that. He had to be. He steeled himself, knocked on the door, and waited.

Gillian didn't answer right away and as the seconds ticked he felt his heart clog his throat. She wasn't going to answer, he thought. After another minute of waiting he felt that maybe he should have just dropped the box off and left. But the door opened, and she leaned against the jamb.

"Cal."

Staring at her, Cal felt a dull ache in his chest. Hunched in her cardigan, Gillian looked wan and small; her eyes were red and puffy, but her answering smile was genuine, if a little watery.

"Hey, darling."

"What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to check up on you. And bring you this." He thrust the package towards her before he could second-guess himself. "Arrived at the office just before quitting time."

She took it and stared down at the writing, traced a tremulous finger over the script. She then looked up quizzically. "You didn't open it?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Wasn't mine."

Disbelief washed over her features; of course she knew him better than that. "I don't know what to say." Then she smiled, and added, "Thank you for respecting my privacy."

He nodded, and met her gaze. "Yeah. Cheers."

Cal studied her during the awkward silence that followed. He might not have liked Burns, but Burns had cared for her, and Gillian had loved him. That counted for something. And Burns was bloody stupid, but braver than he was. He probably would've been a selfish coward in the same situation. Cut his losses and run, and not look back for a second, as much as it would kill him.

Hell, he was a selfish coward. He'd almost opened her package, hadn't he?

Gillian tucked the box under her arm, stepped outside and moved towards him, reaching for his hand. His arms went around her by instinct. He leaned his cheek against her hair, caught the faint whiff of vanilla perfume and pomegranate shampoo. He didn't even mind that the box poked into his side--she still fit perfectly. She didn't return the embrace, but she leaned against him a little and he felt her sigh.

She pulled back after a few seconds and he released her. He then blurted the words without thinking.

"Can I come in?"

Her eyes widened--surprise--and she shied away. Mentally he kicked himself. He loved and fancied her so much it hurt. But even he should have known it wasn't appropriate. Make Gillian think he was moving in while she was still grieving for Burns? Way to fuck it up, Lightman.

Yet when she turned back a moment later there was no reproach, only sadness around her eyes and mouth. "No," she replied gently, "not tonight. I--I just need to be alone for a bit."

Cal almost sagged with relief. "But you'll be okay?"

"Yeah. I will be."

He drew in a breath. "I'm sorry, darling." The words were heartfelt, and true. "I wish it had ended better for ya."

She nodded. "I know. Me too."

He wanted to reach out, to hold her again and never let go, but everything had changed the minute Burns had forced his hand, and he'd already pushed far enough tonight. Instead he shrugged, shoved his hands in his pockets and said, "See ya tomorrow, then?"

She nodded. "Thank you again, Cal." She stepped back inside and closed the door with a soft click.

Cal stared at the wood for a minute. Now that he'd uttered the words out loud, he couldn't very well take them back, could he. Gillian had heard his voice when Burns accused him of wanting her. It hadn't been just the heat of the situation either, she could read him better than that. She knew where he stood, and didn't this bollocks everything up between them.

But she'd forgiven him his earlier faux pas. 'Not tonight' did not mean 'never.' There was still a chance they could muddle through this. She just needed time, and space. In the meantime, being her friend--that was what mattered. With that, he turned on his heel and headed back to his car. He would see her tomorrow, and they would work it out from there.


End file.
